Revising

Receiving feedback on my first draft has been incredibly beneficial. I got great feedback from Dr. Shermer, Ruby, and Laura on how to improve my paper. The organization of my paper is one of the primary areas which needs revision. I am currently working to implement this advice, yet have found it to be challenging. Ideally, after this week I will have a more clearly organized paper and can focus on smaller details and on strengthening the writing and argument. Having feedback from multiple people is helpful in that each person has a different perspective. The majority of the ideas that I have received have improved my logic and writing, and having other eyes read my writing allows me to understand which sections are not clear or fail to support my argument.

After improving the organization of my paper, I plan to fix grammatical errors. Then I plan to focus on clarifying my argument. At various points throughout my paper I lose the connection to my argument in a paragraph, so I need to work to make my paper one continuous story. With these improvements, I am confident that my paper will be much stronger.

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